One of the many gifts Covid brought was the sudden inability to recall my thoughts mid-sentence. How can I be talking about something I found so important one moment, and then within the same minute, have no clue what it was I was saying?

Two years ago, I set out on a mission to combat this seemingly increasing fog that had developed within my brain. So, as part of my yearly quest to do a hobby for 365 days straight, I chose to memorize one historical fact and one famous person’s birthday each day. Thus, by the end of the year, I would have committed 730 useless pieces of data to my memory. At the very minimum, I was good for some entertainment at parties.

Three weeks into my quest, I felt strongly that I was supposed to add one bible verse every day to memory as well. Isn’t that what the Bible app is for? I questioned. But when you feel called to do something, even when you don’t understand, there is a reason it keeps tugging on your heart to follow through.

So, I began.
One famous person, one historical event, and one bible verse.
Every day.
The first two helped my mind.
The last one helped my mind AND my heart.
I became utterly obsessed with memorizing.

One verse a day turned into sometimes three or four a day. I would recite them in the car, in the shower, in-between conversations, meetings, you name it; I was working on memorization.
Driven by a force that was not normal or natural.
Supernatural, if you will.

And I continued on without even understanding the entire why of it all.
Similar to building an ark when there is no rain in sight.

But then the rain came.
Eight months later.
It came in the form of cancer.
But here’s the thing,
By this point, I had hundreds of verses stored in my heart that I could draw from for almost any scenario.

What would have typically made me curl up in a ball of fear with a double dose of anxiety now allowed me to say with confidence, I know from whence my help comes.
And Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And when I went in for both surgeries, I recalled Psalm 4:8, In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Oh, I had heard these words before.
But having committed them to my heart was an entirely different thing.
Little did I know the reason I was building an ark.
Little did I know the massive storm I was getting ready to walk through.
But God did.
And he was gracious enough to ensure I had all the tools to combat the fear BEFORE it came.

When you feel called to do something that doesn’t initially make sense, you may not realize how it’s preparing you for the mountaintops and the valleys of your future.
Your understanding of the why is not a prerequisite for obedience.
You can either navigate the storm consumed by anxiety and crippled by fear or embrace the resources He has been offering you all this time.

And even if you are in the middle of a crisis, it’s never too late.
He is there before, during, and after the storm.
We just need to be still long enough to listen and then follow through.
Don’t ignore what you feel called to do.
God’s faithfulness never falters.