Nothing will keep us stuck longer and steal our peace faster than the inability to get closure from a hurtful situation.

Oftentimes, something in life ends without warning.
Without explanation. Naturally, we try to understand and make sense of what happened. We cannot comprehend why something had an expiration date when we expected it to last forever.

And here is where we get stuck.

We believe we must have closure and understanding before we can move forward.

We strive to regain the feeling we once had before the disruption.

We find it impossible to move forward without an apology or admission of guilt from the one we feel wronged us.

We think the only way we can regain our joy is to get the satisfaction of knowing—and fully understanding—why things unraveled the way they did.

We start digging for answers.
And digging.
The more we dig, the worse it gets. So we put our peace and our future on hold in the name of “closure.”

We don’t find the answers or the clear understanding we seek…only an insatiable desire for closure that simply cannot be filled.

It was during one of these times in my life that I found myself asking: “Why, God? Can You just tell me why, and I will move on?”


“If you will please just reveal the ‘why,’ I think I can finally move into my future. Please allow me the opportunity to discover why this ended?”

And this is what He gently whispered to my heart:

“If you needed to know the answers in order to move forward, I would reveal them to you. However, if you aren’t getting the closure you want, it’s because you don’t need it right now in order to move into what I have waiting for you.”

Oh, how I wish I had grasped this at a much younger age! It may not have lessened my pain at the moment, but it certainly would have shortened the time I spent revisiting what was not supposed to be revived. The digging and the revisiting were only delaying the goodness of the future God had for me.

God desires for us to stop putting our futures in the hands of those who hurt us. We may never get an apology or explanation. But as long as we wait on answers we don’t need, we will be stuck.

Is a need for closure preventing you from moving forward? Resist the temptation to dig.
Don’t revisit that which is not supposed to be revived…
Forgive even when you don’t understand.
Release what you may never be able to resolve.

Trust that if you need to know the answer, God will reveal it to you. And move forward into the new beginning He has for you.