When thinking of advice for a soon-to-be bride, “So what? Who cares?” might not be the first phrase that comes to mind. But as the countdown begins for my niece Lauren’s wedding, I find myself emphasizing these very words to her, reminding her to stay anchored in joy amidst the flurry of pre-wedding preparations.

If stress had a poster child, it might well resemble a bride just days away from her wedding. Yet, it’s a curious paradox.
The events we most look forward to, whether it’s a wedding we’ve dreamed of being flawless, a milestone we’ve long awaited, or any significant moment, often bear the heaviest weight of anxiety.

The joy and excitement can sometimes be overshadowed by immense pressure to get everything just right. As the big day draws near, a cascade of “what ifs” emerges, each tinged with its own shade of anxiety. At times, this buildup can be so intense that one might catch themselves whispering, “I wish this part were already behind me.”

But how can we apply the “So what? Who cares?” mindset in real-time, especially when the pressures of planning and perfection come into play? It’s about shifting perspective.
Here’s how you might tackle it:

You’ve chosen a perfect menu, but a dish turns out slightly different than expected?
So what?
Great company will savor the moment, not just the meal.

The music doesn’t match the mood you had carefully curated?
Who cares?
Sometimes, the most memorable tunes are the unplanned ones.

Nature throws a curveball at your diligently planned outdoor event?
So what?
Rain or shine, it’s the unexpected twists that often make the most memorable stories.

And when the decor or theme doesn’t align with your initial vision?
Who cares?
Connections and memories outshine any backdrop.

Using the questions “So what?” and “Who cares?” is a method to recalibrate our mindset, anchoring us back to the heart of what’s truly significant. This approach isn’t about dismissing real issues or overlooking major slip-ups. Rather, it serves as a nudge, urging us to measure what genuinely warrants our emotional investment and attention.

And finally, don’t allow others to be the yardstick for your stress level. How often do offhand remarks or comparisons steal our peace? One comment about “that other event,” and suddenly, self-doubt swarms in about our own event.

But here’s the thing: If you’re okay with a cozy gathering rather than a grand ballroom filled with people, then that’s perfect. If you can find romance in the rain falling on a rooftop, then everyone else should embrace the charm, too.

Falling into the trap of comparison or letting others dictate our feelings is easy, but “So what if theirs seemed more lavish?” “Who cares if they did it differently?” Your joy is shaped by your choices and the meaning they hold for you. Your event, your moment – it’s unique and special in its way, and that’s all that truly matters.

When you ask yourself, “So what? Who cares?” you are giving yourself the gift of perspective.
Life’s imperfections are what make it perfectly beautiful.
They are, undoubtedly, what you will cherish, retell, and remember.
Let’s not miss the meaning of the moment for the minor distractions.